Getting Along
by Ninja Basket
Summary: For Mello and Near, getting along has never been easy. L's determined to change that. From PBS to role-playing, all he knows is that he's going to need more aspirin.
1. The Silent Game

~Getting Along~

The Silent Game

It was unusually quiet for Wammy's House. And that had to be what worried L the absolute most. 'Quiet', wasn't a word found in a Wammy kids' vocabulary. Most adults would be able to relax if there was a sudden subsidence in the volume, but it told the care-takers at Wammy's to keep all eyes open and watch were you step.

The silence was fortunately broken when two little boys came bursting through the front door, shouting and covered in what looked like algae from the property's lake. Near was almost completely encased by the stuff, while Mello looked like he had only been dragged in.

"L!" Near cried. L had been hoping he could sneak by before either of the boys had a chance to see him and use him as a shield.

"L!" Near squeaked again, "Help!" He ducked behind L.

"Ah, shut up, you!" Mello screamed. He chased Near to L, and soon, the two boys were circling around him, Near's indignant yelps barely audible over Mello's livid screams.

L looked mournfully down at his cake. It would just have to wait until he sorted this all out. He put out his hand that wasn't holding the cake, and caught Mello, who was practically flying after Near.

L felt his arm nearly rip out of its socket when Mello hit it. Mello made a muffled _hrmph_ sound at the feeling of L's arm.

"Your petty argument..." L declared, still holding Mello back from possibly killing Near, "has caused my consumption of this cake to be put on hold. What is so important that you disrupt my four 'o' clock cake?"

Near was pointing a white finger accusingly at Mello, who by this time, had stopped fidgeting, and was enjoying L's arm much more than a six-year-old should.

"Mello did it!" Near said. "He pushed me into the lake and said 'that most sheep can swim.'" L shot Mello a disappointed look.

"Mello." L said. Near and Mello were both expecting something like 'you can't just call people sheep and push them into a lake', so they were both surprised when L said. "You know sheep can't swim. I thought I taught you better."

Just then, Watari came down the stairs, looking ready to break something up with the large fly-swatter in his hands.

"Has something happened?" he asked.

"No, Watari. Mello and Near were just having a small dispute, but no worries; it's been dealt with." L turned around to find Mello on top of Near, forcing a rather large piece of algae that had been on his foot down his throat.

Watari raised an eyebrow at L along with a disapproving look. L groaned and turned to the quarreling boys. He put his cake down on a small table placed nearby.

"Okay`. Break it up." L said, not moving from where he stood. "Now." Mello kept attempting to force-feed Near algae and Near was still trying to not digest it.

L looked at Watari who was still giving him a dissatisfied head shake. He stopped to make a hand motion that looked like lifting something up. L, in return, let out a reluctant groan and advanced to the scene. He pulled Near out from under Mello. The former gave a grateful noise and hugged L's neck, while the latter simply gave a frustrated snarl.

"Now, boys, your constant arguing has been quite a disturbance the rest of the house, so you're going to learn how to get along, even if it kills you." L said, setting Near down next to Mello. There was silence for a moment and then Mello spoke up.

"Can it be Near that dies?" he said, pointing at Near enthusiastically. L rolled his eyes.

"Mello, both you and I know that was a figure of speech. The only who could possibly die because of this is _me_." L said. Mello's shoulders drooped at the comment. "Okay, Mello, point out something you admire about Near."

"What?!" Mello screeched.

"This is proven to help two people get along better; now, what do you admire about Near, Mello?"

Mello looked down at the floor as if thinking. "Near, I like how you don't give a crap about what people say about you." L slapped his hand to his face.

"All right, despite your use of profanity, that was satisfactory." L said exasperatedly. He took his hand off his eyes to look at Near. "Near, what do you admire about Mello?"

Near began twirling his hair around his finger. "I admire Mello because he almost as smart as me, he is quite popular, he is strong physically and mentally, and he is rather pretty." Mello's mouth was gaping and L looked positively flabbergasted.

Near looked at both of them briefly before saying, "Was I only supposed to note one quality?"

L regained his composure and looked at Near. "N-no, that was, that good. _Very_ good Near." Near gave a smug smile as L gave him a quick hug. This made Mello crawl out of his skin.

"Yeah, well, I could've named more things, but Near doesn't _have_ a personality!" Mello shouted. L let out a sigh as he realized his efforts had done nothing.

"You know what," said L. "Let's just go in the garden to have tea now, and you two can play the silent game while Watari and I think of more tactics to help you get along."

"But that's not fair!" shouted Mello. "Near_ can't_ talk, anyway, so I'll lose!"

"Then, Mello, I suggest that you keep something your mouth at all times, because it's rude to talk with your mouth open."L said, as they walked to the garden door. "Okay, the game starts...NOW!"

"You got it!" Mello shouted. Near tapped Mello's arm with the hand that wasn't holding his robot.

"You lose."

Mello screamed, L sighed, and Near began to giggle as if he were being attacked by a large feather duster.

* * *

_ To be Continued......_

_So, what'd you think. Tell me in a review!_


	2. For Animals

_A/N: Okay, here's chapter two!_

_Here's something that I should probalbly tell you: In this particular time setting, Matt has not arrived at Wammy's yet, so don't hope to see him anywhere._

_That's basically it for now, so, enjoy the story!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

For Animals

Tea-time had turned out to be a rather awkward affair.

Upon sitting down, Mello immediately began his non-verbal abuse of Near, things like force feeding the boy soggy crumpets, dropping crushed raspberry scone down his shirt, or stuffing the moistest muffin of all into his ears.

Of course, L was too busy conversing with Watari to notice _any_ of it.

"Watari," L said, letting his two-fingered grip on his cup slip, drenching his pants with sweet cream Earl Grey. "How would you go about making two things fit together better?"

Watari looked down at L's soiled pants. "Weld them." He said, reaching for a napkin to soak up some of the beverage.

"No," L said hastily. "Two _living_ things."

"Ahh," Watari sighed understandingly. "Well, what most people do is take a cloth, wipe one of the living things' noses with it, and then wipe the scented cloth onto the other's nose."

L's face lit up. "Thank you, Watari, I will try that as soon as I am in possession of dry trousers." And with that, he was off the house to freshen up for dinner.

-

That night, at exactly six thirty, L led Mello and Near into the dining hall.

Seeing Near sit down, Mello quickly ran to the other end of the table, grabbed the back of a chair and began to sit down.

L looked at him and made a beckoning motion with the hand that wasn't holding Near's shoulder.

"Mello, please come here, tonight we're all sitting together." L said soothingly.

Mello looked as though he had been asked to sit next to Satan himself, and Near didn't look much better."W-what?!" he stuttered.

"Yes," L said. "Together like the happy, strange, adoptive, extended family we are."

Near looked at L with a complete looked of horror. "But the last time Mello and I sat next to each other at dinner...something bad happened."

"And what was that, Near?" L said, pushing in Near's chair.

Mello chuckled. "I threw a piece of pork at his head and it missed and hit Michael. Naturally, he threw it right frigging back and_ that_ time it hit Near, and this whole food fight broke out. It was Near's first detention."

L looked at Near with a mortified expression. "Is that true, Near?"

Near solemnly nodded his head, as though the mere mention of the incident might bring back the flying pork.

L looked briefly into blank space before pulling out another chair.

"Well, all right then, I'll sit in the middle and Mello..." he pulled out the chair next to him and patted it lightly. "Right here."

Mello rolled his eyes, forced on a smile and obediently followed the command. For the most part, dinner went smoothly. There were a few glares tossed back and forth between Mello and Near, and a nasty word thrown out here and there, but it flowed nicely. L didn't think he would have to even _use_ Watari's method until....

"You freaking ugly sheep cripple, that was _my_ side of the table!"

Uh-oh. The invisible-line-dividing-the-table had been severed by Near.

"Mello, please be kinder to Near, now say you're sorry." L said calmly, if not a little frustrated.

Mello muttered a quick apology, which went unheard as desert plates clunked and crashed as all the children tried to get the best brownie.

When Near received his, he mashed it against his face, in either a vain attempt to eat it or find his mouth. Whatever he was trying to do, though, looked pretty weird. He set the gooey remains down and reached for his glass of cranberry juice.

"Near," L said, reaching for his napkin. "Let me help you with getting that cleaned up." He reached over to Near and began wiping his face. He looked over at Mello, who was piling his second brownie into his mouth.

"Mello, you're in even worse shape than Near is." L leaned over to try to wipe Mello's face.

Mello pulled away. "You just wiped Near's mouth with that!" he shouted.

"Mello, don't be difficult, he's like your brother, so get over your petty differences and let me wipe your face." L said, leaning over once more to Mello, who pulled away yet again.

"Can't you just use a different napkin?!" Mello shouted, ducking L's hand as it came closer and closer to his face.

L was losing it. "Mello, I can't use another napkin because this one has Near's scent on it!"

Mello let out a muffled scream as L finally succeeded in touching the cloth to Mello's face.

Once finished, a newly chocolate-smeared Mello screamed "What the hell are you doing that for!? That only works for animals!"

L stopped swabbing Mello's face for a moment, sending the latter's elbow into a bowl of soup that had yet to be removed.

The soup landed all over Near, who for the first time in his life, threw it back, hitting L on the back of his head.

Then, a chubby boy who had been sitting at the other end of the room cried, "FOOD FIGHT!"

L decided that the child must have some influential power, because before he was even done yelling the first word, every child in the room grabbed a plate and chucked at someone.

L grabbed Near from under the table where he was shielding his head with a small salad plate, and tried to move to where Watari was standing at the doorway. On his way, he pulled Mello off of a skinny girl with pigtails and a pie in her face.

L marched over to Watari, Near still hiding and Mello still throwing food and shouting offenses in every language he knew.

"Watari." L pouted. "You did _not_ tell me that your method was for animals."

Watari shrugged and declared, "You didn't tell me you were dealing with those two." He said pointing at the two flailing boys in L's arms. Watari left the room in time to avoid the casserole that hit L instead.

L looked down at the two boys tucked under his arms. Both of them were covered head to toe in everything that had been served for dinner. He looked up at the ceiling and began to walk out of the room where the fight continued.

After scrubbing Mello and Near for almost an hour and putting the two to bed, L began to realize just how lucky he was that A died and B was too crazy to do much more than recite the ingredients in his favorite jam.

And L thought _those two_ were a handful.

* * *

_To be continued...._

_A/N: I saw this method of introduction in an animal adoption video for people with other pets. It didn't really work, though, when I tried to use it._

_Please review if you liked it!_


	3. From Viewers Like You

_A/N: Alrighty then! Here's chapter 3. None of the characters from any of the shows belong to me._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

From Viewers like You

L hadn't slept well that night, and to his utter horror, Mello and Near _had_, and the former was full of energy with only one way to channel it: smacking, flicking, and slapping Near upside the head.

At seven forty-five that morning, both boys had bounced into L's room and woke him up. While Mello took the approach of jumping, Near simply shuffled over to L and began to poke his arm. L only woke up when Mello managed to land squarely on his chest, knocking what little wind was in him out.

"Okay, jumping-on-L-time is over." L declared after he was able to speak again. "Mello, please get off. _NOW!"_

Surprised at L's tone, Mello hastily climbed off of L and went to stand next to Near. L rubbed his eyes and groaned as he sat up. He looked at the two boys before him.

"Have you eaten breakfast?"

"No." they answered in unison.

"Have you two taken showers yet today?" L asked.

Both boys nodded vigorously.

"Good. I'm going to go take one now. I want you to go and do something _quiet_ in the meantime, and if anyone tells me you two got in a fight or started harassing each other..." L slid his index finger across his throat, as if slitting it.

The message was received clearly, and after a few seconds of exchanging looks of horror, Near scuffled off to the playroom and Mello left the room to go play in the yard. L rubbed his eyes and made his way to the bathroom, where he hoped to find refuge in the lavender bath salts he had received for his birthday.

-

After breakfast (in which a new seating chart took immediate action), L led Mello and Near into the parlor, where a small television was placed in the center of the room.

"Are we going to play video games?" asked Mello cheerfully.

"No," said L, placing Near on the sofa next to Mello. "We're going to be watching some videos."

"About what?" Near asked nonchalantly.

"I'm glad you asked-"

"Is it about a wild university party that goes crazy when a man-eating monster shows up and eats everything and everyone!?" Mello asked excitedly.

All L could do for a minute was stare at Mello with a confused expression. "No." he finally said. Mello slumped back in his seat momentarily, only to shoot back up again seconds later.

"Is it about divorced soccer moms/ex-masseuses who-"

"GOD NO, MELLO!" L shouted. "The movie is about getting along and sharing!"

Near seemed to perk up a little at the topic, while Mello slid down in the couch, set his jaw, and scowled angrily off to the wall. "Oh." He muttered before grinding his teeth together.

L fed the video cassette to the player, grabbed the remote, and plopped down on the couch in between Mello and Near.

The first image to appear on the screen was a green logo, bearing three letters.

"_The Public Broadcasting Station?_" Mello asked indignantly. L silenced him by stuffing a rather large bar of chocolate into his mouth.

All of a sudden of purple dinosaur appeared on the screen. "_Hi kids, I'm Barney_."

Mello nudged L. "Is that the man-eating monster?"

L looked down at Mello. "Mello, I really don't know of any nicer way to say this, but, shut up." Mello gaped at him for a few seconds before returning his gaze to the screen.

"_Now lately, Melissa and Nathan have been having an argument."_ Barney gestured to two sad-looking children next to him. "_And they need to make-up before the big Teddy-Bear Tea Party today."_

"Jesus..." Mello muttered under his breath. L prodded him with his elbow.

"_Now, Melissa, why are you so upset with Nathan?"_

"_Because," _said the fat girl on the screen. "_He took my favorite book without asking if he could borrow it."_

Barney turned to the Asian boy on his other side. _"Is that true?" _

The little boy nodded meekly. "_She never lets me read it!"_ he cried.

"_You never say please when you ask!" _shouted Melissa. Barney leaned over to Nathan.

"_Maybe if you give it back to her and say 'please' she'll let you read it."_ Barney stood up straight once more and tried to look as though he had nothing to do with Nathan's change of heart.

Nathan handed the book to Melissa and asked if he could please read it. Of course she said yes and the two hugged.

"_Now let's go to that Teddy-Bear Tea Party!!" _cried Barney overenthusiastically. The scene faded out until the screen was black.

"What. A. Load. Of. Crap." Mello declared. L hung his head in failure.

"Maybe the next one will work." He muttered under his breath. Mello scoffed.

Now on the screen was a chubby girl with an off-purple monkey.

"_Hola! I'm Dora! And this is my friend, Boots! Can you say 'Hola, Dora and Boots?"_

"Hola, Dora y Boots." Said Near, the Spanish rolling off his tongue as if he was born in Madrid.

Mello, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes and said: "Hola bit-" L stuffed another bar of chocolate in Mello's mouth. He swallowed and continued: "Pimp-monkey."

L slapped his hand to his forehead.

"_Today, we're going to share! I want you to grab your favorite thing right now."_

Both Mello and Near grabbed hold of one of L's arms.

"_My favorite thing I own is my dolly, or mi la muneca._ _Can you say, 'la muneca'?"_

"La muneca." Near said. L didn't allow Mello to speak anymore during the movie.

"_See? I'm giving my doll to Boots, and he gave me his right boot. We shared! Now I want you to give your favorite thing to your friend or, 'amigo'!"_

Near let go of L's arm in order to give it to Mello, expecting the same form him. But Mello pulled L instead of giving him to Near. Mello and L went toppling backwards off the couch. Near looked down at them, as did Watari when he heard the crash.

"My goodness!" the man cried. "L, Mello, are you alright?" Mello muttered a 'fine', and L looked up at Watari.

"Watari, please go get me an icepack, some tea, and an aspirin." L tried to sit, up, but fell back down on top of Mello, who squeaked upon the sudden weight. "Actually, make it _two_ aspirin."

* * *

_To be continued...._

_A/N: Boots is SO a pimp. What other monkey do you know that wears bright red boots?_

_As always, review if you liked it!_


	4. Battle of Bands?

_A/N: I know it's been forever, and this story was finished, but I got this idea and simply HAD to use it. So here's a chapter. Sorry it's short, I tried to make it longer, but my brain isn't working._

_I don't want to make another author's note at the bottom, so I'll say this here: Please review if you like it._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

Battle of Bands

L was in a state where he didn't care if he had to dry swallow the pills. He was NOT waiting for any water what so ever.

The pills crawled through his throat like Los Angeles traffic on a Saturday. He looked at Mello and Near, both who were looking down at him from the sofa.

"Will you two meet me in the parlor, please? I need to go get something sugary." L said miserably.

Mello and Near stormed out of the room, and L slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen.

-

"Watariii..." L moaned as he stepped into the kitchen. "Where is that cake you said would be here?"

Watari appeared from behind the refrigerator. "It's right here, L." he looked down at L, whose head was splayed across the table. "My God, L, you look awful."

L grumbled something along the lines of, "I know". Watari placed a plate of cake in front of him and rubbed his head.

"Don't worry." The old man said. "This'll all be over soon. Before you know it they'll have outgrown this behavior and they'll be perfect little angels."

"I hope so." L said. He began to stuff the cake into his mouth.

Just then, a soft melody became audible. L looked up.

"I wonder what that could be?" he said, entranced in the music.

"Oh, L, it's probably just the band playing-L?"

The detective was out of his seat, plate and all, and walking toward the place the music was coming from: the parlor.

-

Near was sitting at the parlor's piano, playing a bit of Mozart. Mello was reading a book on the social life of reptiles.

Near began to take the tune an octave higher. Mello's eye twitched and he threw the book he was reading at Near's head, just as L walked through the door.

The piano stopped with a _pltink!_ Near turned his head to look at Mello.

"What?" he asked.

"You were playing it too high and it got _really _annoying." Mello said dramatically.

"I thought it was very nice." L said. "Please continue, Near."

"_Thank you._" Said Near. The Mozart resumed.

"That's it." Mello grumbled, getting up from his chair. He marched over to the music closet and retrieved a small music case, from which he pulled out a violin. He tuned it for a minute, and then began to harmonize with Near's piano.

"You two," L said languidly. "That sounds so nice." he was interrupted when the piano music became more extreme, more violent. And the violin had become a cacophony.

He looked over to the two boys. Mello and Near had not only switched instruments, but were trying to outplay each other.

Both Mello and Near kept playing louder and louder until L could hardly hear his own thoughts. And, just as suddenly as it had come, it stopped.

Near had broken a string on the violin, and Mello had broken one of the piano's internal strings. The two boys exchanged glances and then looked up at L.

"Sorry?" Mello mumbled for the both of them.

L rolled his eyes. "'Sorry' doesn't cover it, Mello. You two are both exceptionally smart, figure out how to fix this mess while I try to figure out what I did to deserve this living hell."

And with that, L left the room while Mello and Near tried to figure it out.


	5. Hai Sensei

_A/N: Wow, it's been forever since I've updated this thing!_

_Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews you guys dropped on the last chapter. Well, I must say, we're drawing close to the end here, and the more reviews this chapter gets, the more awesome the next on will be._

_Having said that, enjoy!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

Hai Sensei

After an hour and a half of fighting off a migraine in the infirmary, L gathered Mello and Near from the places they were waiting. He brought them into his room, where the two were more than happy to bounce on his bed until he thought of something to say.

"Mello, Near," he began. The two stopped their bouncing contest and stared up at him with wide, attentive eyes.

"Yes?" Mello asked as if he were talking to God himself.

"It has occurred to me that before you two can truly get along well together, you must first _respect_ one another."

Mello began to inch away from Near, bringing the comforter with him and sending Near plummeting to the floor.

"And how exactly do you suggest we do that?" Near asked, rubbing his bottom where it had come onto contact with the wood. "He can't even handle sitting a few feet away from me!" Near pointed angrily at Mello, some color rising into his pale cheeks and his tone of voice sharpening slightly.

Mello was huddled in the far corner of the mattress, clutching the sheets. "Yeah, well, that's because I'm going to catch your creepy if I go any closer!"

L rolled his eyes. "Mello, I think that we both know that you can't catch 'creepy'. You have to be born with it."

Near looked up at L with the most offended and confused expression on his face.

"Not as if I'm implying that _you_ were, Near, you're just perfect." He walked over to Near, hugged his head and kissed the top of it.

"Pedophile." Mello muttered under his breath, hoping to be inaudible.

L smacked Mello's head. "That's enough from you. Now..." he picked up Near and set him dangerously close to Mello, who writhed slightly at the small distance left between them.

"You know, in most of the Asian countries I've visited, lots and lots of the children there have such a strong respect for each other that they bow to each other when they meet?"

Mello looked at L with a disgusted look on his face, which changed to unbridled loathing as he shifted it to Near, who was playing with a loose thread on the sheets.

"L, do we _have_ to?" Mello whined.

L nodded sternly. "Yes. Now both of you off the bed, I want you to stand just like this..." he adjusted them so that they were standing opposite each other. "Okay. Now, bow to each other."

"You know L, this means to start fighting in sumo wrestling. Is that really what you want us to-"Mello started.

"Bow." L said, his eyes narrowing and his voice dropping to an almost sinister level. "Now."

"Hai, sensei!" Mello shouted, clapping his hands together and bowing stiffly to Near.

Somewhere in the middle, the two had collided heads, sending them both backwards, arms flailing madly as they did so.

"Oowww!" Mello moaned.

"Owie." mumbled Near, rubbing his head.

Mello glared at Near. "See L? I told you it means to start fighting! Near, you did that on purpose!"

"No I didn't," said Near. But before he could finish he was interrupted by Mello smacking him across his already sore head.

"HA!" Mello shouted triumphantly.

"There. Will. Be. No. More. Of. That." L growled through clenched teeth. He moved to pick up Mello, but missed when the former dodged his hands and struck Near once more, this time, hitting a little above his ribcage.

"Mello!" shouted L. But it was no use. Mello was entranced and on top of Near, in what some people might call a 'sexual' position.

Near was struggling to get out from under Mello and into the safety of L's arms.

"L," Near mouthed (Mello was crushing his lungs) "Help!"

L grabbed Near's hands and pulled him out from under Mello.

"HEY!" Mello protested.

"Now that I have your attention, I would like to say that your behavior has been abom-" Before L could finish, Mello did something he never would have done if he hadn't been receiving a steady dose of adrenaline: He kicked L's shins.

"You do NOT take Near away from me, when he is being taught a lesson!" Mello screamed.

"Mello, I fail to see how this can possibly be considered a lesson-Aaarhrmph!" The next thing anyone knew, L was on the floor, the current victim of Mello, who was delivering a massage-like elbow attack to his back.

Naturally, the noise caused quite a few heads to turn. L's room was almost as quiet as the library on a good day.

When Watari came by L's room with the afternoon tea, he turned around to the infirmary, to retrieve a bottle of aspirin.

L was on the ground, quite disheveled from the continuous attacks from Mello, Near was on the floor, after being dropped when Mello first attacked L, and Mello himself was on the ground next to L, having apparently worn himself out.

Watari reappeared a few minutes later and began to give out the pills.

One for L, about two for Near and for Mello, maybe some time with Beyond would straighten him out.

* * *

_To be continued..._

_Reviews? Anyone?_


	6. B's Bonus Level

__

A/N: Alright then, I'm sorry it took me so long to post. (I've had this written and ready for about a week, you see.)I knowin my last author note and on my profile that I said the next chapter would be my last, but it's not.

_Okay, so I got a review asking if I could please write what happened between Mello and B, so here it is, a bonus chapter, if you will. Sorry it's so short._

_Thanks for reviewing everyone! Feline Jaye, this ones for you. Thanks for the idea._

_Enough of that, Enjoy!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

B's Bonus Level

It was at six 'o' clock sharp that Mello was delivered to Beyond's room. Mello stood by the door in abhorrence. He looked up at L, who was tugging on Mello's hand to get him to move.

"Come on." L said calmly.

Mello glared at him, and then turned his head away, not saying a word.

L tugged at Mello's hand more roughly. "Mello, please don't be stubborn about this."

"I'll be stubborn if I want to." said Mello coldly, his voice muffled by his pout.

"We both know it's your fault you're in this mess anyway," came a soft voice. Mello whipped around and found Near standing behind him, who was letting out a long yawn.

"Near!?" Mello shrieked. "The hell are you doing here?!"

Near yawned again. "I hardly ever see Beyond anymore, you know, since he was locked up here. I miss him quite about a bit. He and I were Clue buddies."

Mello stared at Near disgustedly. "You sicken me."

"The truth is often sickening." Near said matter-of-factly.

In attempt to escape Near, Mello began rapping on the door violently. Just then, the door opened abruptly. A thin hand was protruding from the crack.

"Why, hello B." said Near sweetly. The hand waved back in an equally sweet fashion.

"B, I'm afraid there is no time for pleasantries. I presume you received notice about Mello spending his morning with you?" said L.

The door's small opening became a bit larger, just enough to fit Mello through. Then, B's hand grabbed Mello's forearm viciously. Mello let out a scream which was quickly muffled by the slamming of the door.

Near waved dreamily at it and yawned once more. L looked at the door as if he was trying to find the answer to a particularly difficult riddle amongst its many knots. He sighed.

"Oh, I _do_ hope it was a smart idea to leave Mello alone in there."

Near shrugged absent-mindedly and the two walked off.

-

B's room was curiously dark. Mello could barely see three feet in front of himself. All around the room there were blood stains...or were those jam, he did seem to enjoy jam.

"So..." Mello began. Suddenly, he felt something sliding off his legs.

"B!" Mello shouted, looking down at B, who was holding Mello's pants in his hands.

"B very much enjoys Little Mello's pants." Even through the dim light, Mello could make out B's crooked and wicked smirk.

Mello grabbed one of the legs of his pants and began to pull. "Give...them...back!" Mello said through clenched teeth. While he was trying as hard he could to save his pants from B, the latter out little into keeping them in his grip.

After ten minutes of struggling, Mello finally gave up and sat down on the hard floor, which was rather cold and sticky against his bare legs.

"Today...Little Mello will be helping B scrape the dried blood off of his walls." B handed Mello a small chisel, a wide grin spreading over his face.

Mello looked up at B, who was still grinning. Then he looked back down at the chisel in his hands, and at B once more.

"Are you freaking _serious_?" Mello shouted indignantly.

"Yes. B is _quite_ serious." B said. "Now, get to work."

Mello's eyes widened and he ran to the door and began to chisel, trying to make a hole in it so he would be able to climb through and escape.

-

L was walking by B's room on the way to the kitchen when he heard the stifled shouts. He paused and looked at the door. He could swear that a spot near the center of the door was pulsating.

Then, out of the blue, Mello's arm burst through the move part of the door. He was groping around the door looking for the knob.

L gingerly opened the door and Mello fell through, his chest heaving.

L scanned over Mello, dropping his plate when his eyes fell upon Mello's bare legs.

"Dear God, Mello, where on earth are your pants?"

Mello pointed to the inside of the room."Ask him!" he heaved. B's silhouette was barely visible through the darkness. He sank back into the dark as Mello's pant's came flying into view.

Mello fumbled for them, hastily put them on and looked up at L.

"So I guess your time with B didn't work out?" L asked sympathetically.

"Damn right it didn't!" Mello spat. Having said that, he marched off leaving L in front of B's room to deal with the door.

-

"That's a tough one, B." said Near quietly. "But I have to say, I think it was Miss Scarlet with the wrench in the dining room."

B's hand that was visible through the hole Mello had made in the door made a snapping motion to symbolize his defeat.

A few feet away, Mello began to come out of his unconscious state, not noticing that his pants were missing. He opened and closed his eyes a few times.

Then, he noticed B's arm and Near, with the only thing between them being a game of clue. Both began to wave dreamily to Mello.

Mello than let out an ungodly scream and fell unconscious once more.

Near turned away from Mello and looked back at B.

"I win." He said.

B gave him a thumbs-up and shoved Mello's pant through the small hole.

"Thank you." Said Near sweetly, and walked away, his prize clutched tight to his chest, leaving Mello alone in the hallway once more.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, since there's more than one thing that's not mine, here goes the disclaimer:_

_Death Note and all its characters belong to the '._

_Clue belongs to Hasbro games, or Parker Family. If anyone knows, would you let me know please?_


	7. Last Chance

_A/N: Whew! Sorry that took so long to update. I'm back in school so updates will probably this slow until my next break._

_Okay, so, this is sadly the last chapter. I've enjoyed writing it, please enjoy reading it._

_I'm trying to go out with a BANG, so if everyone who reads this drops a review, I'll make it worth your while._

_I'm going to stop typing now and let you read. So long, and enjoy!_

* * *

~Getting Along~

-Last Chance-

Mello sat shaking in a corner of the playroom (the whole experience with B had been quite traumatizing). Near was squatting in the adjacent corner, playing with his Transformers. From the looks of it, Optimus Prime and some Decepticon were having a tea party...or motor oil...Transformers probably don't drink that much tea.

Occasionally, Mello would glance spitefully at Near, who took no notice and merely kept playing tea party, raising his little finger to take dainty sips.

The door creaked open. Both Mello and Near's heads shot to the door immediately. One foot first, then two feet, and then L was standing in the room, armed with a bottle of Aspirin. He looked down at the two boys looking up at him with big eyes.

Mello poked the bottle. "What's that for?" he asked whimsically.

"Are we going to be something that might send you to the hospital?" asked Near, clutching L's leg a little tighter.

"For me." said L, looking at Mello. He looked at Near. "No, and only if you can really misinterpret directions."

Mello looked at Near. "That means get 911 on hold." Mello smirked back up at L.

"Mello, Near. Watari and I have concluded that you two cannot get along until you have walked a mile in each other's shoes." Said L.

Mello looked at L and then to Near, and to L once more.

"I don't think his shoes are going to fit me. He's like a size one in children's."

L rolled his eyes so emphatically that he could hear them twist in their sockets.

"No, Mello, walking a mile in someone's shoes means that you role-play as that person."

"Oh!" Mello squealed. L looked down at his aspirin bottle. Maybe he would be needing it after all...

"Anyway, you two will act like each other all day-" L stopped abruptly. Near was pulling on the hem of his shirt, an inquisitive look on his face. "Yes Near, what is it?"

"Does this mean I have to wear Mello's fancy French panties?" Near asked timidly, but not at all uncomfortably.

L looked down at Near with a confused expression. Then he shifted his gaze over to Mello, his confused expression intensifying.

"Care to explain, Mello?" L asked.

Mello looked at his feet, then glared at Near. "Just HAD to put the needle on the record, didn'tcha Whitey!?"

"WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW!" L shouted. He glanced at the bottle. The package said to be take two at most. Did that mean _three_ would take him out of this madness? "Alright," L began, trying to claim what little sanity he had left. "Near, you're going to _act_ like Mello? Understood? And Mello, the same for Near. Go."

Near quickly and quietly looked Mello over. And then...

"Oh. My. Freaking. God. I feel like taking my Lord's name in vain and just _raping_ something today." Near had completely lost any trace of his own accent and was now using a voice with a cross of Soviet and thick American.

Mello's mouth was practically touching that ground. _L_'s might've broken through the floor, down into the basement, into the center of the earth and caused a massive earthquake had he not stopped himself at the ground.

"Near, I think that was a bit uncalled for-"

"Well lookie at me. I'm Near." Mello was crouched on the floor like Near and had put on a thick Cockney accent that was well into a C-sharp scale. "I'm going to go rub against L's leg with my face because my mother never taught me how to use _hands_!" he put extra enunciation on the last word.

"Mello! That is more than enough from you!" L scolded.

Near's face was turning an awkward hue of violet. "Yes, well, I'm Mello and I can't find anyone who loves me so I'll just touch myself!"

"Near-"

Mello's eyes bulged out. "Yes, well, I'm going to go stack something with my ickle toes, because _L_ never taught me how to hands either!!"

"Mello,"

"I'm going to go be promiscuous with L, now that I'm finished with myself."

"Neear?"

Mello stared at Near. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm surprised someone as smart as you would have to ask." Near marched over to L, puckered his lips and began dragging them all over L's mouth area.

"You are doing that SO wrong." Mello screamed.

"You would know." Near giggled under his breath.

"THAT IS FREAKING IT!" Mello shouted. He stomped next to Near, grabbed his face and pulled him so close he could smell the tea he had been drinking earlier. "You kiss someone like this!"

Mello crashed his lips unto Nears.

Near looked like he had just died and gone to a heaven filled with naked Mello and robots. But that was okay. He could live like that for a thousand lifetimes.

L finished stuffing the aspirin into his mouth and dry-swallowing, and was just getting an eyeful of the before him.

"Aw, _hell no._" L declared through bared teeth. He grabbed Mello's shoulder and shoved him off of Near. "What was that?" L asked.

"He-"

"Never mind. I don't want to know." L stormed out of the room as Watari came waltzing in with a tray of tea.

"What's his problem?" Watari asked.

"Near needed to be taught a lesson."

"Mello's a prostitute."

Mello looked up at Watari. "Were L and B as bad we are?"

"Oh, much worse." Watari answered.

"Okay. In _that_ case, c'mere Near."

Watari backed out of the room. "I'll leave you two alone then." He closed the door and went to find out where L and those aspirin went off to.

-The End-

* * *

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, to anyone who dropped ideas for chapters in reviews, and finally to my wonderful beta, tsuchifuru. Thanks for sticking with to the end!_

_I love you all!_

_~Ninja Basket_


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